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Entries in ohio (5)

2:23PM

Solemnizer Extraordinaire

COMING SOON: SOLEMNIZER.COM and SOLEMNIZE.US

Self-Promotional Quickie:

Hey I'm a funny(*), secular, divorced guy with a handful of solemnizations of weddings under my belt, no fear of public speaking, and cheap rates. If you need a solemnizer to say the words, then I'm your man! 

  • Need a ceremony in a jiffy? Just give me an hour and I can probably figure out how to get there!
  • Want some custom ceremony with a bunch of your own stuff woven in, original research done, and stuff like that? Let's get coffee and go over some stuff, or we can just collaborate online!
  • I know experienced photographers! Real ones with crazy electronics and websites and stuff, I can refer some if you don't have one yet.

Minimal and easy or well-thought and personal, email me at mfg@nomfg.com and we'll get you married.

Kristin said there are some people out there that just need some person to stand there and solemnize them. I've been at it a few years, had a great time with the ones I've done whether they wanted a ceremony heavy on details or one that was quick and painless.

Anyway, if you or someone you know needs a Reverend in the Church of Whatever (Universal Ministeries to be specific), I have a certificate from the internets and am ready to hitch some folks.

(* I think I'm funny anyway)

1:01PM

Three Things (of no consequence to anyone but me)

There are a few items to cover that I have noticed going over in my brain.

Ohio and Yuengling: Yuengling, good for you, you burst your cherry and you're distributing in Ohio. I am glad that you think your beer is fantastic. I grew up in Youngstown, OH and regular trips were made by many of your advocates and apologists to Sharon, PA in the interest of procuring your goods. Based on regular exposure from ten years ago, and sporadic exposure subsequently, I feel confident saying that your beer is not bad, but not much in the way of superior to anything Coors or Miller or Budweiser regularly do. Your product is just marginally less generically formulated. I await the Rolling Rock Reckoning you one day will face.

Gaddafi: So a terrorism supporting newsmaker who wore crazy clothes died. No big deal. But what I am curious about is this, when will there be a Charles Krafft Bone-China Teapot in his memory a Memento Mori? Furthermore, if these are using human bones, are they cruelty free?

Chili: I have done so much with chili, but talking to ב yesterday I realized that most of my work was done in meat based chili. She had mentioned people talking about foods as being a symphony of flavors. Granted, I don't think I am around anyone who describes food precisely like that, but it seems like a nice ideal to shoot for. Now I'm not portraying some false modesty; my chili is tasty and long-winded and complex. It's more in the shape of a jazz sextet than an orchestral anything though. Nonetheless, I haven't mastered bringing this technique to my vegan offerings so well. Must work on...

11:17AM

new tattoo idea. (nxt-lvl Ohirony)

 

so the whole time i was watching the portland timbers play the columbus crew i wanted an 'ohio 'til i die' t-shirt. or an ohio tattoo. i think i may have created something better than either.

i know it could be smoothed around the edges, and by freehand it would be.

i trust to any tatters that they will drop me a comment if anyone is unlikely enough to get this done.

1:30PM

Comfest Radar

So watching the weather radar at this point is next to meaningless. I woke up late, not too late, but late enough that it got my morning jilted enough to get me 20 minutes late to work because I missed my bus. Sitting on my back porch at 6:55 though there was a breeze that traveled through the leaves like sun filters through a picnic; it was silent, invisible, but every moelecule of every leaf, rattling against each other was made to be alive.

And then it began to rain; a soft patter at first and then, as I was making my way out the door, enough rain as to need an umbrella. It lasted the half hour I waited for the bus, and shortly before it pulled up I was shaking off my umbrella and putting it away so I could return it.

So what will the next 9 hours of weather hold? I guess I just don't know and have to accept that. I'm going to go to Amaerican Apparel and get an over-priced synthetic rain-worthy jacket, or maybe a sweater if the skies clear up, because the other one i got from there is comfortable.

I want a picnic in the park. Perhaps I will be volunteering per KB's suggestion. I wish I had brought my leftover pizza from last night. Fortunately I did pack breakfast; yogurt, blueberries, a shake of cinnamon, and shelled walnuts. mmmmOOOOHhhhmmmmeega-333s.

2:29PM

(Collective) Bargaining

Symptoms

After the fires of anger have been blow (sic) out, the next stage is a desperate round of bargaining, seeking ways to avoid having the bad thing happen. Bargaining is thus a vain expression of hopethat the bad news is reversible.

Bargaining in illness includes seeking alternative therapies and experimental drugs. In organizations, it includes offering to work for less money (or even none!), offering to do alternative work or be demoted down the hierarchy. One's loyalties, debts and dependants may be paraded as evidence of the essentiality of being saved.

it's past one pm. im skipping the protest bold progressives invited me to on Capitol square. i have and need to keep a job. last week i meandered over to the capitol's lawn to listen to some testimony (mostly supporters of SB5). there was a lot of red (anti-SB5), and red (pro-SB5); there really should have been a memo. one guy, i think he had on firemen's clothes, had a big paper bag over his head. it actually seemed like a decent idea. at least, for everyone like me in ohio in a union, and who also feels as i do: like there's a cross-hair on my head.

i have heard a lot of posturing and political hay-making on this whole union-breaking issue. at the core, what i think the real Kasich strategy here is to make the unions appear juvenile. the pols who are going to pass this bill (and it will be passed, or it will be embedded in the budget; ergo, it will pass) have one thing they are trying to accomplish. that is to disenfranchise organized labor and decentralize bargaining efforts. whether you think that is for better or worse, that is what they are doing. they are doing so by making the unions seem like corrupt children who deserve no place at the bargaining table. you may say, 'well yeah they dont,' and thats fine. but dont pretend like theres some greater principle at stake, you just dont like organized labor. and thats fine. you probably fit the Kasich mold; there are grown-ups who need to make decisions, and the workers are basically on trained chimps on welfare (they have jobs).

thats one bit of the governor's perspective that isn't articulated. he doesn't think people with jobs are entitled to want to better their lot in life. (a job is for paying the bills, an investment account is for bettering your lot in life.) so no upward mobility to begin with when it conflicts with corporate interests, but especially if they are government employees. it appears Kasich believes that private employees deserve whatever scraps theyre left; the government employees, they can have the refuse of the private employees' scraps.

Kasich honestly seems to think that workers are on the dole if they (a) work in the public sector, or (b) belong to a union. His sentiment that 'they should be happy to have a job' belies a frightening specter of development in Ohio. leaving aside ideas of whether people should be allowed to bargain to better their lot in life, and the fact he pays his state appointees quite well, I would like to address the fact that Kasich keeps referring to SB5 as part of a package.

Kasich, as any good tactician should, is explicitly planning a multi-step recovery. He has said as much referring to SB5, and JobsOhio, as part of a package for recovery. What all else comprises this (admittedly difficult to swallow) package I'm not sure of, nor have I dismissed out of hand. But what I have dismissed are Kasich's appeal to paint anyone in a union as the reason for the current economic state, rather than as a co-author of the solution. Everyone in a union has a part to sacrifice (and has been doing so for the past two contract negotiations, including a state-wide pay freeze for three years), its true just like everyone else something to sacrifice. However, when management paints labor as children it sounds like they have no interest in asking the people who will suffer about what they're willing to do without.

I haven't made up my mind. And two years from now, if there is some kind of recovery, paid for by lost wages and raised premiums (but not higher taxes, thanks GOD not higher taxes), don't bother to stop to wonder where the gratitude is. 

"Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you. Jesus, don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of shitting on you."